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So, I watched the Oscars…

So, I watched the Oscars…

and I just cannot sum up the energy to rant and rave at Sky’s pathetic attempts at presenting it. Andrew Collins has a damn good go – but, if anything, it’s even WORSE than last year’s attempts.

For a start, they retained the “services” of Jamie Theakston. They went to all the trouble of trumpeting the fact they’d be at the Vanity Fair party, hired a limousine – and proceeded to spend most of the highlights programme stood OUTSIDE the party, nattering away.

For a highlights programme that was only 2 hours away, it’s shameful that they spent 35 minutes on the red carpet muttering inanities to actors who didn’t matter (who cares what Will Smith and J-Lo are wearing? They haven’t even BEEN in a film this year!) and took forever to get round to actually showing some awards.

Fortunately, this year, some kind American has uploaded the Oscars programmes in full and Jon-Stewart-highlight modes. And while I still don’t think Jon Stewart is as funny as nearly all my American chums say he is, meah, he’s ok. Not enough film jokes for my liking though.

Must run and see Crash at some point though.

And will someone please tell me what George Clooney has that I don’t? Aside from charm, and the right side of self-depreciation that is. It’s. just. not. fair.

Avoiding the Oscars…

Avoiding the Oscars…

So it’s Monday morning. Since the Oscars are on a premium-subscription channel over here, I can’t watch the Oscars 2006 live. So I’m electing to hang on till 10pm tonight before I can watch the highlights programme, and till then I was resolved to try and avoid hearing about as much as I can.

This plan falls flat almost straight away when, in the WH Smiths of Crewe railway station at 7.30am, the news comes on over the radio to announce the shock of a gay cowboy movie being beat by a film that says that it’s occasionally ok to be a racist in Los Angeles. (Disclaimer: Haven’t seen either movie – I’m just being satirical, maaaan)

Make it to work, and I eventually realise that I have to avoid pretty much every single blog or website in order to keep my Oscars purity. But I think I just about managed it. So roll on 10pm.

It's the Oscars again

It's the Oscars again

So the Oscars nominations for 2006 are finally out. It’s a resonably good measure to see what “quality” films you’ve seen this year. And as usual, I’ve failed disgracefully this year.

The only film I’ve seen that’s been Oscar-nominated in the major categories is Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-rabbit. Oh dear. Really must go to the movies more often.

Why Kiss Kiss Bang Bang didn’t get a nomination for best original screenplay still beats me. That script was so sharp and witty… Also surprising to see the total lack of King Kong in any of the major categories. It was slightly disappointing but still bloody amazing.

Brokeback Mountain got 8 nominations. But being a man with almost zero interest in tragic love stories unless they’re attached to epic melodramas a la The English Patient, I’ve got no desire to see it. It’ll just depress me, and no amount of sightings of Anne Hathaway’s breasts is going to persuade me otherwise.

Crash and Good Night, and Good Luck both got six nominations each. Both are films I wouldn’t mind seeing, but I just know it’s going to be one of those films that I keep meaning to see, and never getting round to. I’ve probably got more interest in Syriana, just because I love multi-plotted storytelling a la Traffic or Love Actually.

Memoirs of a Geisha also got six nominations, but I’m in two minds about whether I want to watch what is ultimately an exploitation picture that perpetuates the notion that Japanese/Asian women are delicate mysterious flowers.

I was just reading about Capote, which got five nominations. But it seems like I ought to know who or what he was, before I see a film about him.

For some reason, I just can’t bring myself to see Spielberg movies any more. I haven’t even seen War of the Worlds. So Munich is probably out – even if it is more about the psychology of revenge rather than an analysis of terrorism.

Walk The Line looks quite interesting, but I only know one Johnny Cash song, shamefully. Oh, and the soundalike who did an advert for Folgers coffee when I lived in the USA.

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