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As if my mid-life crisis needed confirming…

As if my mid-life crisis needed confirming…

Your ears aren’t what they once were and you have resorted to doing online hearing tests.

The highest pitched ultrasonic mosquito ringtone that I can hear is 12kHz

Find out which ultrasonic ringtones you can hear!

Bah. Time to buy a Ferrari. If I can hear it coming.

My personality test!

My personality test!

Every time I pass a Scientology recruitment centre that advertises a personality test, I’m tempted to go in and say “Can I please be tested to see if I have a personality?”. But that’s just me.

Anyway, there’s a Johari / Nohari test, which is meant to give me an insight into how others view me, and how I view myself. Usually a mirror, but whatever works.

Just pick six positive adjectives out of this list that you feel describe me. Then you can join in the fun with your own personality evaluation, and realise that – yes, you too have a personality. Potentially a psychopathic one but that’s by the by…

And if you feel like psychologically assassinating me today, then pick six negative adjectives out of this list that you also feel describe me.

(Spotted via Skarlett – ta, chuck!)

Maybe it's because I'm a wannabe-Londoner…

Maybe it's because I'm a wannabe-Londoner…

If I was a part of London, I’d apparently be:

You scored -2 sophistication and -3 scintillation!
You are Clapham!

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. You know how some personality tests say
that there are no right or wrong answers? This is NOT one of those

If you’re a man, you like listening to Coldplay and you thought
“I [Heart] Huckabees” was a “real mindbender”. If you’re a woman, you
sing Dido songs in the shower and watch the “Lost in Translation” DVD
(on your own) on Friday nights.

You’re nice, work in a fairly prestigious job, and have a
lifestyle that satisfies the aesthetic criteria of the aspirational
magazines that you read. However, a little demon inside your head
occasionally accuses you of being a beigist. The demon is right.

Link: The WHICH PART OF LONDON ARE YOU? Test written by fine-and-dandy on Ok Cupid

I have to point out that I don’t own any Coldplay CDs, nor Lost In Translation on DVD (although I wouldn’t mind). I can’t stand Dido and I haven’t seen the Huckabees movie yet.

The DVD meme!

The DVD meme!

Thanks to Strange Cousin Susan, I’ve now been tagged for a DVD meme which seems curiously like the music meme. Anyway, here we go:

Total number of films I own on DVD/video: I’d guesstimate 150. But then, I used to be a movie/DVD reviewer so an awful lot of my collection comprises review copies that I strangely forgot to return. Whoops.

The last film I bought: Oooh, that’s a toughie. I did go on frequent DVD buying sprees until I realised that once the price was cut, it’d stay cut and I was barely watching the ones I did buy. I think it was the superlative Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, of which I bought (of course) the special edition.

The last film I watched: *guilty look* It was probably Star Wars: A New Hope. In my defence, this was right after I’d seen the fantastic Revenge of the Sith.

Five films that I watch a lot or that mean a lot to me (in no particular order):

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind – quite possibly the best film of all time. It combines an unflinching look at the nature of love, with some amazing sci-fi concepts and great visual FX to boot. And some good laughs.

The Matrix: The sequels have unfortunatley sullied the memory of this great action sci-fi’er that literally had me gawping when I first saw it. It also reminded me that kung-fu in movies can be done fantastically well, and didn’t have to resort to cheesy ooofs all the time.

Before Chungking Express, I was convinced that all Hong Kong cinema was just B-movie kung-fu flicks rushed out quickly for a flickering video market, with no real interest in plot or characterisation. Then came Chungking Express, which combined a 1960s-quasi French art feel with the vibrancy and colours of the real Hong Kong. I loved it. Love it, still. A movie to fall in love with.

Brazil: For a long time, this was my favourite film of all time for lots of childish reasons. Most of my friends dream of having their girlfriends put on a gold bikini a la Princess Leia – I dream of having my girlfriend wrap herself in a red ribbon which I then peel off.

Spaced: Simply one of the funniest and coolest comedies ever devised. And it happens to be British. Glorious, stylish, so zeitgeisty-1990s it hurts but the comedy still survives intact today. Catch it.

And as is traditional in a meme, I wish to pass it on to (if they spot it):

Dirty Dio Bach

What am I listening to?

What am I listening to?

Mark Boulton kindly passed on a musical baton (or as we tech-savvy online geniuses like to call them, memes) that asks us to describe our digital musical tastes. And who am I to refuse him?

Total music files residing on my computer: 23.3 GB. Bloody hell. No wonder I keep running out of hard drive space.

Last CD I bought: To be honest, I can’t remember. Probably 2manyDJs on Radio Soulwax which was an hour-long mix I heard by chance and thought I’d take a gamble on. Or maybe it was The Big Chill Classics, as recommended by svelteness. Future musical purchases will probably be from Basement Jaxx, Faithless and Garbage.

God, that makes me sound trendy and hip. I think.

Song playing right now: According to the almighty audioscrobbler, the last track I was playing was Bjork – Army of Me.

Five songs I listen to a lot / mean a lot to me:

Off the top of my head:

I Don’t Know What You Want But I Can’t Give It Any More – Pet Shop Boys – It’s just the perfect Pet Shop Boys song. Stunning orchestral start, followed by a moody drum-beat, coupled with dark lyrics and soaring female vocals. The video is equally fantastically surreal and dark, and the song always reminds me of hazy summer evenings drinking by the Thames – odd really, considering I probably wasn’t doing that then.

As The Rush Comes – Motorcycle – The song just screams understated cool from San Francisco for me, with a song just about the pure passion of music. In theory. A relaxed but insistent beat with a lovely husky female vocal. The fact that the video features a gorgeous Chinese dancer, and a gorgeous red-headed female singer just giving themselves to the drive of the music doesn’t hurt – as does one 4-second sequence which I am bound to pay “homage” to if I ever direct a music video.

Insomnia – Faithless – a relentless drum-beat and rap. To me it sums up the dark side of life in London circa 1997 staring out over Wembley railway bridge at 3am when I couldn’t sleep. Plus the lead singer looks a lot like my Dad. Honest.

Only Happy When It Rains – Garbage – a song that is just so me. That sums up my outlook on life. Of course it doesn’t hurt that the divine Shirley Manson is the lead singer on it.

Fast Love – George Michael – I coded my entire final year project (six months) late at night, to a combo of Russ Meyer movies and the music video for this song. Gloriously camp and amazing with beautiful people seductively dancing and George Michael literally kung-fu dancing while the video limply tries to make a point about interactivity and the music-listening experience. Back in 1994.

Five People I’m Passing The Baton To: Damn, just five … ok … but feel free to contribute anyway!

Not that they will, of course.

Oh, and see how this baton/meme spread online.

I've seen just 8% of the world

I've seen just 8% of the world

I’ve seen 8% of the world…

and 29% of Europe (15 states)…

and 68% (35 states) of the United States. But that’s mainly because I spent two months on Greyhound going east and west twice, in my youth.

And then the UK…

County map
I’ve visited the counties in yellow.
Which counties have you visited?

made by marnanel
map reproduced from Ordnance Survey map data
by permission of the Ordnance Survey.
© Crown copyright 2001.

I haven’t even touched Africa, South America and barely touched the land of my forefathers (SE Asia). So why can’t I still make up my mind as to where to go?

Maps courtesy of the wonderful people at, and images uploaded via Ecto, which i’m just trying out, as written by Alex.

The albums you should have listened to before you die

The albums you should have listened to before you die

(Yet another bloody meme about compiling the greatest album list of all time. Although of course consuming music via albums is merely a commercial/technical hangover from the 1950s-1990s. We’re all now getting to grips with an era of consumer choice when we can get just the song we want for 79p each – hell, I just showed one of my computerphobic but muso-obsessed friends the power of iTunes UK. There won’t be a similar list circulating the galaxynet in 2047…)

Anyway… copy the list on to your blog, put in bold the ones you have listened to (completely from begining to end) and then add three more albums that you think people should have heard before they turn into their parents – remember, it isn’t necessarily your most favourite albums but the ones you think people should listen to… and when we say listen we mean from track one through to the end…

If you put a link to your follow-on post in the comments of the site where you found it, the chain will be trackable. Maybe!

Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band – The Beatles
London Calling – The Clash
Blood Sugar Sex Magik – Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Think Tank – Blur
This is Hardcore – Pulp
Moon Safari – Air
Elastica – Elastica
Never Mind the Bollocks Here’s the Sex Pistols – Sex Pistols
OK Computer – Radiohead
The Kiss of Morning – Graham Coxon
Ziggy Stardust and The Spiders from Mars – David Bowie
The Wall – Pink Floyd
Setting Sons – The Jam
America Beauty – The Grateful Dead
Toxicity – System of a Down
Train a Comin’ – Steve Earle
Folksinger – Phranc
Come From the Shadows – Joan Baez
Bat out of Hell – Meatloaf
The River – Bruce Springsteen
The Very Best of Joan Armatrading – Joan Armatrading
Copperhead Road – Steve Earle
Dark Side of the Moon – Pink Floyd
Brothers In Arms – Dire Straits
Outside – David Bowie

(Not doing too well, am I?)

My additions to the list:

Passionoia – Black Box Recorder
Version 2.0 – Garbage
Too Young To Die (Greatest Hits) – St. Etienne

(via troubled diva, who got it from clear blue skies)

My birth month…

My birth month…

Yet another meme comes round. The idea of this one (picked up by Pissed Kitty, who followed a long trail to the source) is that people born in a certain month pick up certain qualities. The ones that don’t apply to you (in theory), you cross them off. To whit:

DECEMBER: (21, fact fans!)

Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves Likes to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

A few small problems with this list. Surely sexy is in the eye of the person you’re with at the time. I may think I’m sexy, (and various gfs have intimated I can be) but I doubt Cynthia Nixon/Miranda Hobbes would think that.

Otherwise, not the most flattering list of attributes one can think of!

This explains everything…

This explains everything…

what decade does your personality live in?

quiz brought to you by lady interference, ltd

My soul is dark. And red.

My soul is dark. And red. Color Quiz: the wonderful color of darkredviolet

you are darkredviolet

Your dominant hues are red and magenta. You love doing your own thing and going on your own adventures, but there are close friends you know you just can’t leave behind. You can influence others on days when you’re patient, but most times you just want to go out, have fun, and do your own thing.

Your saturation level is high – you get into life and have a strong personality. Everyone you meet will either love you or hate you – either way, your goal is to get them to change the world with you. You are very hard working and don’t have much patience for people without your initiative.

Your outlook on life is slightly darker than most people’s. You try to see things for what they are and face situations honestly. You’d rather get to the point than look for what’s good.

the html color quiz
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