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Post Tagged with: Music Videos

The best music video of all time.

The best music video of all time.

It’s so cheesy you can smell the stilton a mile off. Ladies and gentlemen, David Hasselhoff is Hooked On A Feeling.

Update: Alistair has pointed me to the the literal video version of Hooked On A Feeling. Comedy. Gold.

Happy Horny Werewolf Day

Happy Horny Werewolf Day

Since I’m suffering with headaches and no sleep (thanks to man-flu, before you ask), I can’t seem to concentrate on anything for more than 5 nanoseconds today. Which isn’t much of an improvement on my usual concentration span of 10 nanoseconds, but there ya go. So instead of reading up on project management software, here are the random moments in my brain:

– Thanks to the recent post about Top Gear’s adventures in America, I am now ranked second on Google when you search for “man love rules ok”. Fortunately, this has not led to an influx of people begging for man/boy love on my blog, as what happened in this blog’s previous incarnation.

– If you’re recovering from yesterday’s Valentine love fest, then bear in mind that in Ancient Rome, today would be Lupercalia day, a Pagan festival involving blood, werewolves and sex.

“Many of the (men) … run up and down through the city naked, for sport and laughter striking those they meet with shaggy thongs. And many women of rank also purposely get in their way … present their hands to be struck, believing that the pregnant will thus be helped in delivery” — The Parallel Lives by Plutarch

. So how we’ve mutated from striking each other with shaggy thongs to zombified-men wandering around Tescos or Asda looking for the right red-coloured flower, card and chocolate box, heaven knows. (I was prepared this year, before you ask!) All hail power of Hallmark. (with thanks to Warren Ellis, as if he needs my thanking!)

– Weren’t the Brits fantastically dull last night? The music was crap, all the rock’n’roll had been sucked out of the occasion by corporate managerial swines and Take That did their wearysome ballad Patience instead of the crowd-stomping quite-jolly Beatles/ELO-ripping Shine. The only highlight was the first five minutes with the Scissor Sisters recreating their black-puppetry video onstage. Russell Brand just kept going on and on making verbose random introductions that seemed to make no sense of all and totally ignored the audience who in turn ignored him. If you’ve made it to the end of this paragraph, then you can fill in the punchline.

Touch me! I want to feel your body!

Touch me! I want to feel your body!

Now that the alleged saviour of BBC Radio 1, Chris Moyles has successfully sent Billie (no Piper!) back into the top 20 thanks to the new download chart rules, it’s time to choose the next 80s artist to relaunch in the slightly-old millennium.

And what better than a remix of a fab 80s record featuring your average born-again Christian lesbian with the big boobies, and some moustachioed European lothario with a ludicrously bass voice? Ladies gentlemen and Jade Goody, I present to you: Touch Me by Gunther featuring Samantha Fox. Make this number one!

Oh go on. Please?

So is this the way to Amarillo?

So is this the way to Amarillo?

Non-British friends of mine have apparently been amused by the odd
reference to Is This The Way To Amarillo, and the way it’s overtaken the cheesy cultural zeitgeist of this once-great nation of ours like a virus that swarms and multiplies. At least until that damn cursed Crazy Frog/Axel-F video took over. Ding ding.

So for my non-British chums, here is the video that might just explain what it’s all been about – Tony Christie / Peter Kay doing the 1970s / 2005 hit Is This The Way To Amarillo?. Just for the Pissed Kitty, there’s even a Cliff Richard impersonator.

It became such a huge hit that The Sun paid for Tony Christie (the original singer) to fly out to Amarillo. Except he was nowhere to be seen by the local press.

It was a charity single for Comic Relief which made UK chart history by spending seven weeks at no.1, so some good came of it. And it’s guaranteed (right now at least) to get un-ironic and exceedingly ironic British people up and dancing at weddings everywhere. Maybe funerals, too.

If you liked it, please donate some money to charity. And I’d be intrigued to hear a non-British reaction to this.

Obsessed with Faithless's music video

Obsessed with Faithless's music video

For some reason, I find myself rather obsessed with the music video for Faithless’s latest great track, Why Go featuring Estelle. Essentially, it features this woman who just can’t stop dancing. at all. In the club, walking down the street, in her flat, sleeping, etc. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that she has an understated sexy minxy look about her.

Like all simple concepts, you need a twist halfway thru – which comes when she passes a suited slicked-back-blonde-hair guy on the escalator on the tube. Except, he’s dancing too! You can kinda guess what happens next – except it’s taken to extremes. They dance together all the time – on a date, in bed, getting married etc.

The most nauseating music video. Evah.

The most nauseating music video. Evah.

If you’ve just had your breakfast and hate knee-jerk patriotism from the most powerful country on the planet, then do not watch the music video for America: We Stand As One.

What amazes me is the sheer amount of money and technical talent that was thrown into the video. There are some fairly nifty (if intensely shallow) effects in the video, and the music sounds unbearably professional and shallow. Too much lens flare in it, but that’s a curse video makers have to bear.

But why all this effort for a music video that actually has a (blonde, naturally) wife and child standing by a grave? Do the makers behind this video have any sense of irony or awareness that we’ve all seen this kind of thing done to DEATH a thousand times before? Surely even a seasoned Star Trek stuntman turned songwriter with long hair and the director of the X-Files and Star Trek ought to know better!

I have a huge problem with knee-jerk patriotism from any country, but I would have thought that the biggest, most powerful country in the world doesn’t exactly need this kind of arrogant puffing up of itself. It’s what did for the Roman Empire, y’know…

Best music video featuring breasts?

Best music video featuring breasts?

Popping up late at night on MTV Dance, is quite possibly one of the cleverer music videos featuring all the breasts you could want. But — cunning this — it just shows the chests of women wearing various clingy T-shirts bobbing along to the beat while the music plays. Gets past all the censors – hell, it’d probably be legal in Saudi Arabia – but still (ahem) catches the eye.

And yes, I know I’m sad. But hey, blogs with the word breast in them attract so many visitors!

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