Amusing anecdotes & random ramblings
Posts tagged Bits of me
Inside a Hong Kong village…
Jan 16th
Apparently, Hong Kong is all a twitter about the sit-in demonstrations (complete with riot police and pepper spray) that have been taking place as the Hong Kong Legislative Council rubber-stamped a decision to build a high-speed railway line through Hong Kong to China, demolishing ancient villages in the process. (Interestingly, the official Chinese news state agency thinks the protestors barely deserve half a sentence in their report).
Anyway, cnngo.com had a photo-essay featuring the village at the heart of the railway line, and it’s rather striking how it looks an awful lot like the village my parents grew up. Even if I haven’t been back there in 20 years.
Oh, while we’re here, 50 reasosn why Hong Kong is fab. Now if only I spoke Cantonese…
I can now say I've written for BBC News :)
Dec 26th
Lookie here! (Thanks, @zsk!)
and she has revealed that on Boxing Day, it got 21,500 hits. Now if only I had 1p for everyone who clicked… 
25 random facts…
Jan 29th
Since I’ve been tagged by a few friends on Facebook and elsewhere, I thought I’d try to come up with 25 random facts about me:
- One of my first websites was lauded by Microsoft, Yahoo and the BBC. Of course, this was back in 1997.
- I’ve been in Stephen Fry‘s bedroom
- I love peas. Love them. If I had a big enough freezer, all my stir fries would come with peas included.
- I also love snow – the way it can make a city like London be frozen, cold and yet clean and crisp. Of course, I’ve never had to go to work in the middle of a blizzard.
- I also love the cold. It awakens the senses, keeps everything sharp. Then again, I’ve never had to walk to work during a very very cold snap.
- Ben Elton thinks I’m a wanker. Long story.
- In my younger days, the only time I cried at a film was during E.T.’s resurrection.
- Unfortunately, these days, any old thing can set my eyes moist. A moving montage, a soaring piece of music…
- This may be why I don’t really go to the cinema any more. In 2008, I managed four trips. and one of them was to the terrible Indiana Jones movie.
- My favourite film is Brazil, a tale of a man who battles bureaucracy by going insane.
- I’ve worked in the BBC, in four different places, over ten years – with a lot of time off for good behaviour.
- Emma Freud is the best Radio 1 DJ that ever existed, IMHO. and she gave me an online snog once.
- I am petrified of zombies. Terrified of them.
- and crabs. Crabs will take over the world. You mark my words.
- I hate unfriendly people.
- I love living in London, full of unfriendly people. Go, as they say, figure.
- When I’m sat on my sofa, I wish I was in the pub.
- When I’m in the pub, I wish I was sat on my sofa.
- Chef Ainsley Harriott gripped my thigh once.
- So did Pet Shop Boys lead singer Neil Tennant
- I once tried to bore a friend to sleep by summarising every single Doctor Who episode ever broadcast. It didn’t work. She’s still my friend.
- I wore a kilt once. Loved it.
- I can’t stand sour foods. Salt and vinegar crisps are the devil’s condiment of choice.
- I haven’t programmed a computer in years. Must learn again.
- I was once asked to take part in a local carnival as a Chinese person on the grounds that I didn’t need any make-up…
- I used to be terrible at cooking. I couldn’t even make a bowl of cornflakes properly.
- People seem to confide in me. I have no real idea why, but I like it.
So… go and write 25 random facts about you in *your* blog!
Dear BBC, why have you cancelled my Christmas?
Oct 28th
Ever since I was a wee nipper, Christmas Day always started at 2pm (our family were always late risers…) when Top of The Pops was on BBC One, Christmas Day. We’d emerge from our respective bedrooms, and open our presents to the latest bangin’ tunes of 1987, with occasional home camera footage. Which is quite scary twenty years on.
Fortunately, while we’ve ditched the self-filming thing, opening our presents to the tune of Top of The Pops is something we still do now on the odd times we do get together at Christmas – much to the bemusement of the strangers from the outside.
And now the BBC have cancelled Christmas Top Of The Pops. Bah, harumph and all that. We’ve cancelled Christmas in protest.
The agony of the short-distance writer
Oct 23rd
Despite having spent most of my life writing words for websites (and project proposals, that sort of thing), and having had two jobs with the word “Editor” in the title, I’ve never really considered myself a writer.
Recently, I was asked to write a short article for Ariel, the BBC’s internal corporate newspaper. On a topic I knew a lot about, indeed, that I somewhat relished.
However, I kept putting it off week after week until finally, today, I was told that I had to get it to the editor by lunchtime or knives and screams would be heard. So I knuckled down, looked at the few notes I’d made, and in an hour, I’d turned out 425 words of prose that’s almost professional. It’s elegant, the end references the beginning, and it’s one of the best articles I think I’ve written. And I knocked it out in less than an hour.
I’d whip myself even more about being such a procrastinating fool about it, but it seems I’m not that alone. Douglas Adams famously declared that “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” Most of the emails that Russell T Davies sends out in The Writer’s Tale are of him either avoiding starting work on a script, procrastinating over working on a script, or the insane things that happen as he tries to finish his work to deadline.
What is it about writing that encourages procrastination to such an extent? How is it I can quickly knock off a blog entry, no problem, but trying to write an article causes huge amounts of internal angst? How come editors don’t want to strangle their contributors at every available opportunity? And how can I stop procrastination in the unlikely event I ever get asked to write another article?
When Ewan McGregor and I worked together
Jul 24th
Me alongside Ewan McGregor in Rogue Trader
Alas, any glamorous notions I had about finally being part of the film industry were somewhat thwarted by the sheer tedium of waiting around on film sets waiting for filming to start, with nothing to do except talk to equally disillusioned Chinese extras, who were mostly Filipino actors/actresses who’d come to London with dreams of treading the stage or doing some good acting, as opposed to ending up with a bunch of extras. Although I did manage to walk around the Pinewood Studios shop and buy a jacket.
After one day of work, being on/off set for about 10 hours and wasting three hours being shuttled between central London and Pinewood for £80 (and they were very keen to get people back for more extras shooting, but I’d rather sit in front of a computer pumping out webcode!), the net result is the picture you see. If you watch the film itself, I’m about 40 minutes into the film, just after Nick Leeson is celebrating Christmas with his girlfriend (Friel).
The only other time I saw it was when slightly drunk and waiting in eager anticipation to see The Matrix. One of the trailers that featured before it was for Rogue Trader, and I yelped in surprise when I saw a strangely familiar moon-shaped face staring at me on the screen before I realised it was me.
I kept meaning to track down the DVD but then to my surprise, when I stumbled in after a hard day at a works do summer party (football, softball, Pimms, quizzes and the odd bit of chat) to find the film showing on ITV4. And finally, I manage to capture my moment of fame alongside Ewan McGregor.
To come … how I had dinner with Frank Skinner and was in Stephen Fry‘s bedroom…