almost witty

BBC Wales is making the new Doctor Who, with Russell T. Davies plotting it.

And as I understand current policies, I’d be the one doing the website on the new programme Of course that won’t happen and I’ll get very crushed about a year from now, but that’s my own bloody fault for having pathetic enthusiasm.

And for that reason alone, I will totally boycott his new non-revolutionary DVD-renting venture as described on Brand Republic - especially when lots of other places like movietrak.com offer the same thing at a cheaper price. Me, bear a grudge? Never ….

The manner of my redundancy was terrible in itself. I turn up to work one morning as usual, getting ready to do my usual mix of erotica/science-fiction book reviewing, HTML and SQL database programming (I was kinda doing everything at Bookpages!), and am literally pelted all day with frantic last-minute requests for graphics, bits of code etc. that just HAVE to be done today. Which is a tad unusual, even in the then-fast-paced world of new media in Gerrards’ Cross. Then at 4pm, I’m asked to go to head office, where I’m solemnly given a cheque and told to pack up. Swine.

Still, it got me to where I am today. And taught me never to be dispensable.

Interesting article from The Register giving a potted history of the BBC’s Internet activities online - including pointing out that beeb.com’s shopping launch party was populated by “possibly the world’s greatest ever group of talentless ego-maniacs”. Needless to say, I wasn’t there.

All my working life, in the Internet and media, I’ve only wanted one thing. Not fortune, but a little fame - more precisely, to be quoted. To be seen as an expert by some journalist and have my words of wisdom quoted. To be an Andrew Collins or Stuart Maconie. Is that so much to ask for in life?

Alas, in the last 10 years the closest I’ve come to seeing my name in print (when I didn’t type it in myself) was a brief mention of a job move way back in the 90s when the Net was a big. thing.

Now, I see that the person who took my job from me at World Online when I was Entertainments Editor has been quoted in The Guardian.

Life just isn’t fair. Of course I could learn to play the game I s’pose - just have to figure out what the game is!

So it was the final part of work’s attempt to convert me into a David Brent today.

And we had the most annoying twat of a lecturer today, who beguiled us into believing that he would have the answer to the whole work/life balance. But he didn’t…

Instead he regailed into a long anecdote about how despite the fact he used to be a weightlifter, he couldn’t lift a particularly old Japanese guy who was into some form of martial art.

And then, HORROR OF HORRORS, he imitated said man using a Japanese accent. In front of me, and about 12 others.

Now, to be fair, imitating a Japanese men is in theory no worse than imitating someone with a Birmingham accent. Except he even used “Ahhh so!” - which just sends me hurtling back into the playground, cringing in the corner. Damn shame.

So when he asked us all to do a physical exercise that involved bending the arm of a colleague, I just recoiled at the idea of having to actually touch another human being I didn’t really know that well in a vaguely silly manner, and left the room. The over-riding odour of BO probably didn’t help.

So the rest of the morning passed with the entire group taking potshots at the guy - who also denied that there was any spirituality to do with karate. At one point, he said “I’ve been doing this for THIRTY years and never have I been asked that question”. Well, he must have been doing presentations to dead people.

The afternoon faired slightly better - the only trouble with going on all these work courses is that I have to come back to tackle the mountain of work. STill, at least I get net access that way.