Posts categorised Online life

I am a web octopus

Web OctopusAccording to the BBC’s Lab UK’s Web Behaviour Test, I’m a Web Octopus – fast-moving, solitary and adaptable.

It’s a fascinating test to see how the web has changed my brain – but it’d also be fascinating to run the test again when I was at home, in a more relaxed environment, and not under (my own) pressure to do the test quickly so I could get on with the rest of the day’s tasks…

But I do have a quibble with their defining of my web characteristics as “solitary” because I don’t choose social networking sites as an authoritative area of content. With the search topics they gave – relatively serious things on health and diet – I wouldn’t trust a social networking site to give me that information any more than I’d trust my friends. I might ask them for anecdotal evidence in conversation, but if I’m searching for something, then at that point I want considered content. If I wanted an opinion on Lady GaGa’s show, then I’m more inclined to ask around social networking websites.

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No buzz with Buzz…

So Google Buzz has launched, and I’ve had a quick play with it.

Unfortunately, it’s done the same thing as many recent Google product launches – it hasn’t brought anything new to the table, aside from the sheer gargantuan amount of data it stores about me. And the only reason it has so much data about me is because I’m pretty much wedded to Google, thanks to their still-superlative Gmail service (tabs instead of categories for email! It’s the future, I tell you!) and consequently, me adopting every other Google service there is, including their mobile phone system.

Which of course has its consequences. Within an hour of using Buzz, I found 10 people following me who were total strangers, who I’d never heard from before. This happens a lot more on Twitter (and to a certain extent on Facebook), but because those services don’t touch my email, it doesn’t seem so sinister. But with Buzz integrating with my email account, it does. There is a suggestion that these strangers found me via Google Profiles and that I ought to switch it off – but I’m quasi-reluctant to do that since otherwise, I could disappear off Google search results. (Then again, my name isn’t exactly my brand these days)

The huge flaw, of course, with integrating social networking so tightly with email, is that everyone’s email boxes are already groaning under the strain of spam, newsletters and the other ways people are trying to reach us via email. Adding another system to your email just adds to the risk of people declaring Inbox Surrender and leaving email alone entirely.

Ultimately, it’s hard to see why Google made another attempt into social networking, after the days of Orkut. They’ve built a new private members club opposite the most popular pub in town, spied upon everyone going into the pub to try and connect everyone, and then … just opened the front door – only letting in people who are members of the club. No special offers, no enticements, no new jukebox in the corner, nothing. There’s nothing in Buzz that isn’t already on other social networking sites – and of course, nothing that beats their main enemies, Facebook or Twitter. and ironically, they seem to be quite swamped – picking up blog posts and Twitter feeds from other areas of my digital life seems to take a day.

But like the famed Hotel California, once I’ve checked in, I can’t seem to leave…

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G’on, ask me anything!

In the art of experimenting with new websites and new forms of communication, a new website has sprung me which allows you, the humble web surfer, to ask me anything at all. And to do it anonymously, if you so wish.

Of course, there are many ways to do that, but with this website, any answers I choose to give are made public.

So give it a go, and ask me anything you want and tell me what you thought of the experience. Of course, I naturally reserve the right not to tell you incredibly sensitive private information, like my shoe size.

Interestingly so far, most people have asked their questions anonymously. Although I know who you are…

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Useless websites #158

SendSocial promises to send anything to anyone, without needing an address. They suggest that you could use it to send gifts to Internet friends of yours, when all you know is their Twitter address.

How does SendSocial do this? By asking said Twitter person for their address, and then sending you a label to stick on your package. A courier then picks up said parcel, and delivers it to the mysterious Twitter person. And they charge £4 for a parcel weighing less than 2kg (which, to be fair, is slightly cheaper than what the Royal Mail charges).

It’s lucky that you can set up websites and company ideas for not much upfront cost, since it’s doomed to failure for the simple fact that if a person on Twitter didn’t want to reveal their address to a Twitter follower, they’re hardly like to entrust said address details to an anonymous company instead.

But hey, don’t take my word for it. Try it out. Send a random Santa present to my Twitter address ;-)

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The trouble with being everywhere on the Internet…

Miss H recently did a Google search for a local pizzeria near where I live and she works. My picture pops up – because I once wrote a favourable review of it.

Better yet, if you then do the same search but concentrating on images, there’s a Google Ad inviting you to travel with 1200 lesbians. Sounds like my average dating night out to me.

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iDo take Twitter and Facebook…

Various websites have poured scorn on a groom who updated his Facebook/Twitter accounts as soon as he got married.

The thing is … I think it’s a mildly neat idea. In my ridiculous fantasy head of how I get married (and bearing in mind the fact I’d have friends/family on three continents who would probably want to see it happen, purely as ‘Finally, he got off his arse’ witnesses as opposed to anything else), I’d have to broadcast the proceedings via webcams and the like anyway. So I might as well use Facebook / Twitter as well. Hell, I might as well have plasma screens that unveil themselves as the deed is done reflecting the changed status update, and let people #hashtag about how great the catering was.

Then again, having been to about ten incredibly luxurious weddings (to my head) over the years in castles, manor houses, country estates, remote Welsh chapels on hillsides, museums, an old college – and registry offices – I’m also of the opinion that:

  • I don’t need no stinkin’ wedding photographers. They’re good, but very pricey for it. At least half the audience would be Chinese, after all, and therefore come with ridiculously large and expensive D-SLR cameras. I would, however, need a shepherd to herd everyone together for the required joint photo shoots.
  • I may need a film cameraperson – but at least ten of my friends know how to shoot video. Or I could just wear a helmetcam.
  • Flowers. Pah. Who needs them?
  • Who needs a banquet? Pah. Give me a buffet!
  • Who needs a disco? Pub quiz, that’s the way to go! Or maybe Rock Band, or Dance Dance Revolution…

Of course, I may not be the one who has a final say in these matters…

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How not to run an online competition

facebook_orangefilmclub

There are many ways to run a competition on Facebook. Perhaps the way that the Orange Film Club did, isn’t the best one.

They posed a surprisingly difficult question (see a screengrab below the cut), but asked competition entrants to make their answers in the comments below. Being the mug I am, I did some fairly intense Googling, and thus became the first person to post the answer.

What did everyone else do? They quite sensibly copied my answer and thus within the hour you had 18 entries, who probably didn’t do the same intensive Googling that I did.

The kicker comes when they allocated the ticket – randomly, fair and square and within the stated terms of the competition – to someone else. When I’d done all the hard work! Bah!

It’s not just me with sour grapes – two random people who also entered have also said I should have gotten something!
Read the rest of this entry »

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It’s like, breaking down the fourth wall, man

It’s soooo meta. And cool.

Or maybe not. but funny all the same.

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On Ukraine’s Got Talent tonight…

a woman who paints with sand. But it’s amazing. And far more interesting and unusual than a plain woman who can sing, or a breakdancing fourteen year old.

(spotted via article_dan, who had interesting musings about art versus advertising)

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Turning a people carrier into a mobile disco

People carriers. They’re for married couples who have been overactive with their loins, and suddenly find themselves in charge of four screaming mini-me’s who they don’t really like, and so decide to keep them out of the house as much as humanly possible by keeping them active in endless football / karate / ballet lessons, which involve using up what’s left of the Earth’s oil resources to ferry them around, so that by the time the kids are old enough to inherit a planet choking in carbon emissions and rising sea levels, at least they’ll know how to dance to Swan Lake. Although they’ll have never seen a swan.

To avert this terrible fate for people carriers everywhere, my ex-uni mate Di (who is usually seen generally cooking up amazingly silly ideas – she could be a Kari Byron for the Birmingham edition of Mythbusters) has turned a people carrier into a mobile disco, which is a much more sensible use of such a car. Watch the video, and then go and vote for her idea.

Maybe I’ve been watching too much Top Gear…

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