almost witty

I’m not particularly used to seeing things I like becoming media obsessions, so while it’s strange enough seeing Doctor Who things emblazoned across shelves in shops, it’s now become a daily occurence. Whereas the sheer juggernaut that has become Bond has emblazoned itself across seemingly every magazine in the newsagents, every music channel and a documentary on the BBC, presented by the still-surprisingly-sultry Joanna Lumley with voiceovers from silky-smooth Jonathan Pryce.

Despite all that, despite the fact that Quantum of Solace (and the Bond films generally) rate as one of the highest commercial films ever with product placement galore and a guaranteed moneyspinner with limitless franchise potential, I’m still finding myself getting rather excited about it all. The theme song has a great bass drum (at least I think it’s bass), the plot seems unremittingly grim and unreconstructed.

Any long-running franchise like this would probably have been re-booted and Hollywood-ized umpteen times - and indeed, the Bond franchise has been. But it still feels right, especially with the obsession with Fleming-esque titles. Whatever it means, I love the title Quantum of Solace - it just *sounds* right.

Yes, it’s a generic staid formula - but, alas I love it. Oddly, I’ve never bothered checking the world of Bond Internet fandom, and it’s one of the few things I like that I don’t look up online. Presumably because I don’t feel the need to - and I’m not sure what there is to discuss really. It’s all there on the screen/book… isn’t it?

If you had told me about four years ago that I’d be seeing an American recreation of Life On Mars, I’d be astonished. Although it’s a killer concept - and one that only gets enhanced when you have Harvey Keitel in 1973 New York.

What amazes me is how the initial episode at least is incredibly faithful to the British script. Same beat points, same character names, same action shots, everything. Most US recreations of British TV shows do make significant changes…

What befuddles me is that they didn’t change the name of the show. Life On Mars is a slightly mysterious inexplicable title in the UK - what on earth would it mean to a US audience?

After flicking through the various US TV channels, I was surprised to stumble across an edition of BBC World News on a free-to-air analogue terrestrial TV station. This would be the equivalent of being able to watch an American news programme on Channel Five, so I was somewhat amazed to find this. Then watched in horror as the rest of the programme unfurled.

In the UK, we’re told that BBC World News provides an unbiased global perspective of the news. But the main items on BBC World News last night were:

- UK stock market falling
- US presidential debate, with the ubiquitous Matt Frei
- a couple of small pieces about anti-government riots in Peru and Thailand
- The “And finally”… piece about a Chinese art exhibition in Chelsea

In other words, it was almost like watching a standard BBC News broadcast, with slightly less emphasis on UK events. I can’t help thinking that if you live in Cleveland, Calcutta or Canberra, these bits of news will be fantastically irrelevant. Especially learning about an art exhibition in Chelsea, for goodness’ sake. Even when being global, the BBC’s still very London-parochial.

- One in five Americans has genital herpes. But you can buy a medication to slow it BUT THERE IS NO CURE. Da-da-da-daaaaaa
- People ought to vote for or against some kind of option 6 in Ohio about casinos
- If you’re going to vote for some kind of senior lawyer, know that he LET CRIMINALS LOOSE
- If you’re going to vote for a certain Ohio state representative, know that HE HANGS AROUND WITH CORRUPT PEOPLE
- Obama and McCain commericals say things about each other, but never about themselves
- If I use an American Express card, I am a CREATOR!
- What Americans really want to watch Saturday night is celebrities learning to do the model catwalk. I smell a British TV reality show coming up…
- EVERYTHING HAS A WEB ADDRESS ON IT. EVEN THE CHANNEL IDENTS. WAKE UP BBC!!!!!

And just because I’ve sat through 120 minutes of Knight Rider 2008…

- Knight Rider 2008 is obsessed with foreigners doing anti-American things using American technology on American soil. And girls in bikinis. Fortunately, a multi-ethnic cast of Latinos, Asians and middle-class white men with gadgets are there to stop them.
- In Knight Rider 2008, people also enact high-speed car chases while simultaneously maintaining televideo contact, moving graphical windows around with their fingers and watching girls in bikinis
- Chinese Americans are obsessed with fast cars, and fast rap music. Well, I guess it beats the British version where we’re just obsessed with kung fu.
- To be fair, Knight Rider 2008 is also obsessed with American super-spies being naughty and secret and wiping soldier’s memories. And if you can’t trust your superior officers, who can you trust?
- Not your contact on the inside, because he turns out to just be interested in the money. And you can’t get more American than that.
- Unless of course you are a hot girl in a bikini, because you can always trust a hot girl in a bikini.
- Especially when she’s a hot geek Chinese girl in a tanktop making snide remarks at geeks who lust after them.
- Who the hell decided that a Ford Mustang could replace a Trans-Am and that NOBODY WOULD NOTICE?

Having said that, it’s an interesting way of trying to relaunch a TV series without changing a *single* thing about it, aside from the technology.

If you’re the kind of person who follows radio stations or listens to Virgin/Absolute Radio, you can’t have failed to notice the recent rebranding, emphasising the fact that it’s now Absolute Radio.

Unless you’re a relative of mine, who thought that the renaming of the radio station was a temporary sponsorship deal with the vodka manufacturers, and that it’d go back to being Virgin Radio in a week or so…