almost witty

So I’ve been in the USA for a week, and found pretty much everyone around me pleasant, polite and good company. And with remakes of Life On Mars, Kath & Kim, The Eleventh Hour and BBC World News on American television, it’s almost like being home.

And then I see this slowly spreading video of Republican supporters near the same city where I’m currently staying, essentially with said supporters essentially saying the next potential President of the USA is a terrorist.

Aside from the alarming stuff all being said, if followers of one of the main political parties are convinced the leader of the other guy is an unAmerican terrorist, I can’t help feeling that if the opinion polls are right and Obama is elected, there’s going to be one hell of a mess.

Fortunately / Unfortunately, I just cannot see Americans voting for Obama. He’s intelligent to the point of being slightly English and aloof, oh yeah and he’s black. The big word that people aren’t saying even to a YouTube cameraperson, but it’s probably one of the biggest reasons why he won’t get elected. Which is a huge shame.

Democrats, what on earth were you thinking ?! Did you really think that the kind of people who voted Bush in twice in 2000/2004 were going to go for a black man or a white woman instead? Never mind America, the *world* is crying out for a non-Republican leadership. You really fumbled the ball on that one…

So I settled down to watch the American Presidential debating thing last night, and was wondering how long it would take for the first insult attempt to waft through the airwaves. It didn’t take long - McCain was barely out of the gate before the first volley appeared. They really ought to instigate a rule that you cannot bash the other candidate’s background or personality.

The British political parties keep resisting the idea of “American-style” TV debates, although I’m not too sure why. We’ve pretty much embraced the other parts of American political campaigning - the mass rally, snide political advertising… although from my memory of the last election, British political (non-TV ads) keep aimlessly bashing the other party. At least the American political TV ads over here give you reasons not to vote for Obama/McCain/section 6.

The opinion polls seem to show a rise in Obama’s standing - although naturally I can’t trust opinion polls. Especially after the British elections of 1992 which consistently reported people saying they were going to vote Labour, but they voted Tory in the end. Essentially, people were too ashamed of wanting to vote for the Tory party that promised tax cuts at the expense of the economy. I can’t help feeling in a gut instinct way that this is being mirrored in the opinion polls in the US - especially when the only election graffiti I’ve seen was in a toilet at Detroit airport with a crude rude caricature of Obama.

And was it just me, or did McCain walk around as if he was a puppet? Very stiff, Frankenstein-like. And the only person he tried to ‘physically connect’ to was a soldier. Does he do that to every soldier he meets? It makes it seem like joining the military is the biggest country golf club in the world. (Then again, Obama didn’t touch anyone at all if memory serves)

The British elections are going to be so tediously dull. If only because for Labour to win would take a miracle at this point, I fear.

Imagine you’re quintessential Englishman Stephen Fry - who, naturally, is a geek of Jewish Hungarian stock. He’s spent the last few months travelling the land of the United States, and naturally, has written a book and TV programme about it.

Now you have to publicise said book in a book launch. What’s the one image of America you need to sell the book to a British press? Find out.

This - no doubt hilarious - book joins other ones on the shelves dedicated to explaining America to a European readership. Although given the huge amount of press coverage the American elections get in the UK, I’m not sure anything needs explaining.

So David Duchovny has just been admitted to a clinic for sexual addiction, joining a list of other male Hollywood celebrities who have admitted to a similar condition, including Michael Douglas and Russell Brand.

But at least these people could presumably get sex from wherever they wanted. I mean, Duchovny’s married to the gorgeous Tea Leoni, Douglas to the beautiful Catherine Zeta Jones.

What happens if you’re ugly, poor *and* have sexual addiction? Or is it something that only rich handsome men (poor them!) seem to get?

In 2008, as America faces an economic downturn and recession with military forces overseas, America seems to have two choices. To stick with the current administration that’s now governing over the recession, or go for an unusual candidate promising radical change, including a withdrawal of military forces.

In 1983, as Britain faced an economic downturn and recession with military forces overseas, Britain had two choices. To stick with the then-administration (Margaret Thatcher) that was governing over the recession, or go for an unusual candidate promising radical change, including a withdrawal of nuclear military forces. Britain voted overwhelmingly for the then-current administration.

There are - obviously - huge differences between the two situations, not least of which that Michael Foot was as old as John McCain at the time, and Margaret Thatcher was as significant as Barack Obama in terms of unusual background for a political leader.

Or there’s this comparison:

In 2008, in an environment where there was a perceived need for change, Barack Obama, the leading opposition candidate for the forthcoming election took to the stage in a huge sports arena, preceded by a rally with performances from key celebrities and music artists. The speech had huge media coverage.

In 1992 Britain, in an environment where there was a perceived need for change, Neil Kinnock, the leading opposition candidate for the forthcoming election took to the stage in a huge sports arena, preceded by a rally with performances from key celebrities and music artists. The speech had huge media coverage. Labour went on to lose an election many commentators had thought they would win.

I just cannot see an electorate that voted for Dubya twice in 2000 and 2004 voting for a black man, no matter how charismatic and invigorating he is. Plus, even I have to cut’n'paste his name from a news article to get the spelling right, lest I confuse him with another infamous character with a similar name Or am I underestimating the American public from 6000 miles away? Who knows…