Sorry if you’ve been slaverishly logging on every day begging for the latest details on me and Tom Cruise. Your prayers have now been answered, and I shall tell the oh-so-glam story.
Strolling past Leicester Square, I noticed all the tell-tale paraphenalia that a London movie premiere in progress. And given all the satellite trucks, crowds and lights, I presumed it was a big one. Then I saw the billboard for Mission: Impossible 3 and snorted at all the attention being given in the hope that Tom Cruise might turn up – when, as far as I knew, he was (or should have been) back at home looking after little Katie/Kate and Suri.
But as I got closer, I got an inkling that all was not normal for a movie premiere. One side of the Odeon cinema was completely blocked off with a temporary wall – in front of which was a huge monitor relaying footage from a camera on a boom – a lot of effort for a premiere where the stars weren’t going to turn up. The other side of the cinema was blocked off by various gawkers, photographers, stern policemen and security cameras.
Then just when I was getting bored at looking at people looking at TV screens waiting for something to happen, there was a huge uproar from the crowd. Tom Cruise had emerged from the cinema to do his walkabout thang.
Seeing as I know Leicester Square remarkably well, I managed to go through some back alleys, evade the police and security guards and ended up just behind the press cordon, and face to face with ol’ Tommo himself. Unfortunately, he was looking at a bunch of interviewers and patiently asking questions.
Whatever else you say about his insane antics, you have to respect the ability of a short man to concentrate on what’s in front of him when everyone is shouting and throwing things at him in a desperate attempt to grab his attention. Not to mention all the flashbulbs going off left, right and centre.
He looked suspiciously hyper and awake for someone who’s a new dad though…