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How to ruin a Oscars programme

How to ruin a Oscars programme

Just get Sky to outbid the BBC for the rights to the Oscars, and then pretty much ignore the entire awards ceremony, in favour of:

– constant plugs for the Scissor Sisters and Elton John
– not coincidentally, Sky’s pathetic presentation of the Oscars is brought to you from Elton John’s party
– The most exciting thing about the Oscars this year was that Chris Rock was presenting it. So what do Sky do? Cut down his witty bits to a three-minute opening prologue, and leave him out of the rest of the show.
– have presenters who are far more obsessed by the parties and the costumes than the films and the awards
– put Amanda Byron on the pink carpet for the party, and have her ask all the actors and actresses what they’re wearing. Which is obviously far more important than the meagre fact of who won what. Gillian Anderson in particular gave Ms. Byron a very withering look.
– Sharon Osbourne seems to know nothing about films, and far more about showbiz.
– Jamie Theakston couldn’t control a box with two buttons, let alone present a highlights show.
– Make sure all your celebrity guests are drunk from Elton’s party, and that they have absolutely nothing of any interest to say.
– Don’t bother talking to any of the nominees or winners.
– Spend five minutes discussing what the guests are eating at the party.
– Outside the top five categories and anything involved a Brit, quickly skip through all the other interesting categories in a montage-esque sequence.
– It was so bad, I had to look at the website to find out who won Best Screenplay. Man, I hope the original programme is on a P2P site somewhere.

Apparently, Sky are proud to cover the Oscars “in a way no other broadcaster could”. That’s because most other broadcasters would have the sense to remember that the Oscars are an event about film, not what people are wearing and drinking.

Damnit, now I’ve read the Oscars highlights, I really need to find a video download of the Oscars ceremony. Just to see the look on comedy superstar Jeremy Irons’ face.

But I don’t get this joke: “I love the Incredibles – next year, they’re coming out with a black version coming out, called The Aiiits.” – care to enligten me?

2 Comments

  • So what you're basically saying is the show was as irrelevant and vapid as the actual awards themselves? Go figure… 😉

  • "Aiit" is like "alright" but without all the consonants. It's a thing people say. I realize the joke isn't funny with this new knowledge, but it would be if you knew it culturally. But not super funny or anything.

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