Mediawatch UK – the successor to Mary whitehouse‘s campaign to clean up British TV – is offering a “generous” £1,000 prize to young film-makers. As long as they, of course, pay a £10 entry fee and submit a film that doesn’t “include harmful or offensive material”.
I know they’re only a charity, but even taking into account the ever-declining costs of amateur film production, £1,000 isn’t going to really help anyone. Nor will it compenstate for the stigma of winning the Mary Whitehouse award. Even if you are a struggling film student.
Still, here’s my idea. Screen starts black, with two people talking romantically and ideally about their love for each other, for God and all good things Christian. Camera fades from black to reveal two male vicars talking to each other, before kissing tenderly. Nothing remotely offensive there, surely? Perhaps Jesus could come by and pour some tea.