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What is there to look forward to?

What is there to look forward to?

So today has been a bloody weird day. I have one of the weirdest and most disturbing dreams in ages (the one where killer Russian zombies took over a submarine that was floating under Bradford University has nothing on this one), and then on my bike ride into work (one I’ve done dozens of times) I fall off my bike and get scrapes and bruises.

And I come into work, trying to find details of a film to look forward to this summer. And I can’t find one.

Spiderman 2: I mean, really. It’ll be the same as Spiderman 1, but with a bit more angst, and without any of the emotional punch of the first one. And Mary Jane without red head, scarcely bears thinking about.

King Arthur: Take away all the mysticism, and aren’t you left with a bunch of thugs in a country they don’t like fighting other thugs?

I-Robot: Notwithstanding Will Smith’s excellent interview with Wired magazine that makes the Fresh Prince rapper sound like a digital geek, it looks like being one of those “robots rampage New York. Only Will can stop them” schtick.

Catwoman: That film looks so terrible from all angles (and how can you muck up a film like Catwoman?) that Bernard Matthews must have all the shares in it. An allegedly attractive actress who doesn’t look remotely attractive, scary or slinky in the role, from the trailer I’ve seen.

Chronicles of Riddick: Just because Vin Diesel has big muscles doesn’t mean that he can pull off an epic film.

Hellboy: Saw it Stateside. OK to good, but it’s not that good. Guess it’s different if you’re a comic nuthead.

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow: Looks like a film for Final Fantasy fetishists ie “oooh, look at those computer graphics. Shame about the plot and characters.” (Then again, people have said the same about Star Wars)

Aliens vs. Predator – it’s just so obviously a money-making idea to combine two franchises, written and directed by people who want to expand a franchise which was at breaking point already anyway. What’s the point in it?

Bah. Someone wake me up when my life is over.

5 Comments

  • What happens to MJ's red head?

    Does it go missing?

    Now that I would see.

  • Personally I'd like to see the hardcore version where we find out if she's *really* a redhead. Kirsten Dunst is so fucking fit. Mind, if it was porn, she'd be shaved. They all are.

    Of the list, I'm looking forward to every sodding one of them. Except Catwoman. That looks shit.

    But what do I know. I'm off to see Around The World in 80 Days or Standing Tall on Saturday.

  • Even i would do Kirsten Dunst… and no u cant watch!

  • I've seen lesbian mating for real and in the flesh. Not that exciting – although it was in the dark at the time.

  • I saw Kirsten Dunst in an interview after the first Spidey came out. She had blonde hair and it added 10 years to her. Much prefer MJ with red hair.

    And fair do's, I'd not watch you, Elly. I'd get you drunk enough to let me join in 😉

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