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Last night a DJ killed my love-life…

Last night a DJ killed my love-life…

Last night, I ended up going speed-dating in Cardiff for the first time. Interesting experience.

At work, I was checking my list email, and suddenly see that there’s a speed-date session in Cardiff tonight – and they’re so desperate for 4 men that they’re offering free tickets. Quickly procure one for me and my flatmate, and within 30 minutes (after a frantic bike ride home, go in the shower and quicky pick out some clothes) we’re at a speed-dating session.

At first we’re all just hovering at the bar – men and women kinda seperate, apart from the ones who’d had the foresight to bring a female friend or whatever. Then the gong starts, and we’re off.

Ever tried talking to someone, smiling, making them laugh and making a connection inside of three minutes? It’s nigh on impossible – plus with my regular need/want to fill the silence/perform, I unfortunately probably don’t let my “date” get much in before the gong goes. or I start stuttering. Or saying something stupid. Or all three.

Plus all the cliches – they all ask what I do for a living. As if that’s the important thing. So I go into my reason as to why I don’t explain what I do – and then it occurs to me that it sounds as if I’m a plumber or Chinese takeout person or something. Grrr. Is the job really that important? Guess it is.

One of the ladies there turned out, eventually, to be Zoe from Red Dragon FM‘s breakfast show. So I was a tad flabbergasted to find her there – Gawd knows why, even radio DJs need to find love. Still, when she said “You’re doing well”, I knew I was totally blown out of the water. Really got to stop being a nice guy. On the radio this morning, she said it was a nice time, but she wanted “more professional guys”. I’m tempted to say how shallow is that, but that’s South Wales for you I guess.

Other ladies who were there included:

  • One outrageous flirt, extremely skinny. She was the only one who physically touched dates beyond shaking hands – she kept touching everyone’s knees. Very seductive, but also way way too skinny. And she patently loved the attention.
  • There was a gaggle of three French ladies – and the bar was loud enough as it was without straining to hear them. Still, they seemed nice.
  • Three Norwegian ladies – one of them didn’t understand much English, so my opening line of “Hi, have you ever been to a Harvester before?” didn’t go down too well. Still, did tell another one of them (reddish hair, naturally) that I’d been looking at her all evening. Not too sensible.
  • One very very drunk woman from Caerphilly
  • A gaggle of professional TV/PR women – what on earth were they doing there ?!
  • One woman who was unfortunately short, blonde and generally definitely not my type
  • One Minnie Driver lookalike with lovely curly hair and enhanced cleavage. I think she caught me looking, but when she told me about the three Albanian men before me who’d done nothing but stare, I looked up quickly. And she turned out to be my ideal woman – loved cinema and science. Alas, she loves horror films and before I knew it, I’d suggested we go see Cabin Fever together. A film I do not want to see because I know I’d scream like a girl.

Talking to her at the bar later, she said that she’d not given any of the men a “hit” – but most of them as “Friends”. So hope springs eternal. Plus her mate looked like Holly from Red Dwarf, but sounded just like Gordon Burns from the Krypton Factor. So we riffed on that for ages.

So afterwards, instead of drowning my sorrows, I talked to the ladies who’d come along with male buddies. And actually got to know them as people as opposed to date objects.

The results don’t come back tomorrow but I think I’ll be lumped into the Friends category. Again. My flatmate thinks differently, but I’m far more cynical about it I guess.

Would I do it again? Rather enjoyable once the alcohol kicked in and you got into the “swing” of it. But certainly it seems very unlikely that a woman there is going to find the man of her dreams. And most of them were there to find the “ideal” man, as opposed to just simply one they liked and got on with. Which is a shame.


  • Well I’m really curious about speed dating,I tried it last night at the union (in Aberystwyth) but it wasn’t done properly, which is a shame cos I really enjoyed talking to people I didn’t know and there arent many ways of meeting people here. Unfortunately there are no speed dating events in Aber so I’ll either never do it properly, or go to one when I visit one of my mates who lives in a city.
    Btw, I’m with you on the job thing. I don’t mind telling people what I do because I’m doing a PhD and it is a huge part of my life and it’s fair to say that it sums up a lot of my interests. But jobs don’t define you and I try to avoid telling people I’m a student (if I don’t explain what I do as a student) for the same reason, because it dosen’t mean anything and people always have preconceptions.

  • gorky5

    I admire your candour in writing this. Do let us know what the results were! But why not tell people what you do for a living? An anthropologist writes: it's a good indication for strangers, because they get an idea of how much of a waster you are, or how good a provider you might be. Law of the jungle innit.

  • Don't waste your time and money Speed Dating – you will find the service you require a bit further down the Taff embankment to where you are or alternatively on Bute St. šŸ˜‰

    Failing that I believe there is a Massage Parlour down on Clare Road – a 10 minute walk away.

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