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Wax on, wax off

Wax on, wax off

When I gingerly went to a start-up group of British Chinese comedians, I didn’t actually have many things in common with the urban actors/writers before me who’d spent their formative years going to their local Chinatown.

Fortunately, one thing we did all bond on was our common experience over The Karate Kid. Not so much in watching it, but in that our playground “peers” would constantly reference it or point to it in conversations/taunts with our younger selves. Even now, catchphrases from that 25-year-old film still loom large in my head. Left-a-circle, right-a-circle. Wax on, wax off. And of course, the semi-legendary crane kick.

Looking back on it, it’s actually a semi-charming if rather unoriginal film – and the less said of the sequels the better. A lot has to do, of course, with the original casting of Pat Morita, who actually somehow managed to give the cliched idea of an Eastern old wise man a soupcon of gravitas and background.

Fast-forward to today, and Empire Online and BBC News bring the news that Jackie Chan may be cast as the wise muse in a remake of the Karate Kid. Which strikes me as terrible news for the following reasons:

– Does the Karate Kid really need to be remade? It wasn’t that brilliant an idea to begin with, what’s a 21st Century spin going to give it?
– Jackie Chan. Many things he is, but a charming wise muse, he is not. There’s no actual acting ability or charisma behind Jackie Chan – and to be fair, most of the time there doesn’t have to be one. He just usually plays hapless if nimble foreigner. But a wise muse? You might as well cast the manic Jim Carrey as that.

The whole thing is a really terribly bad idea, and I for one hope it never happens. But then I bet I’ll spot it in the straight-to-DVD shelves 3 years from now.

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