View Sidebar
Things I have learnt from two nights of American television

Things I have learnt from two nights of American television

– One in five Americans has genital herpes. But you can buy a medication to slow it BUT THERE IS NO CURE. Da-da-da-daaaaaa
– People ought to vote for or against some kind of option 6 in Ohio about casinos
– If you’re going to vote for some kind of senior lawyer, know that he LET CRIMINALS LOOSE
– If you’re going to vote for a certain Ohio state representative, know that HE HANGS AROUND WITH CORRUPT PEOPLE
– Obama and McCain commericals say things about each other, but never about themselves
– If I use an American Express card, I am a CREATOR!
– What Americans really want to watch Saturday night is celebrities learning to do the model catwalk. I smell a British TV reality show coming up…
– EVERYTHING HAS A WEB ADDRESS ON IT. EVEN THE CHANNEL IDENTS. WAKE UP BBC!!!!!

And just because I’ve sat through 120 minutes of Knight Rider 2008…

– Knight Rider 2008 is obsessed with foreigners doing anti-American things using American technology on American soil. And girls in bikinis. Fortunately, a multi-ethnic cast of Latinos, Asians and middle-class white men with gadgets are there to stop them.
– In Knight Rider 2008, people also enact high-speed car chases while simultaneously maintaining televideo contact, moving graphical windows around with their fingers and watching girls in bikinis
– Chinese Americans are obsessed with fast cars, and fast rap music. Well, I guess it beats the British version where we’re just obsessed with kung fu.
– To be fair, Knight Rider 2008 is also obsessed with American super-spies being naughty and secret and wiping soldier’s memories. And if you can’t trust your superior officers, who can you trust?
– Not your contact on the inside, because he turns out to just be interested in the money. And you can’t get more American than that.
– Unless of course you are a hot girl in a bikini, because you can always trust a hot girl in a bikini.
– Especially when she’s a hot geek Chinese girl in a tanktop making snide remarks at geeks who lust after them.
– Who the hell decided that a Ford Mustang could replace a Trans-Am and that NOBODY WOULD NOTICE?

Having said that, it’s an interesting way of trying to relaunch a TV series without changing a *single* thing about it, aside from the technology.

Leave a reply


%d bloggers like this: