As a Brit, one of the most heinous crimes I can commit in society is to jump the queue at any given place. It’s rude, impolite and smacks of ideas above your station. And yet, this happened to me today.
I was queueing at the petrol station, patiently waiting for the car in front to finish fuelling up. I’d thoughtfully left a gap so that passers-by could get around, and to give enough room for the car in front to reverse out should he/she wish.
So there I was waiting my turn, when a small blue van suddenly pulled up alongside me, then barged into the space in front of me just in time for the car in front to finish refuelling, so he carried on driving and pulled up next to the petrol pump. When it was my turn. Then some pubic-haired beast of a man, wearing skimpy tank tops and a short, got out and started fuelling. And he blissfully ignored my hooting of the horn and all the evil stares in the world I could muster at him. Reader, I was impotent rage.
Then I decided to play tough, and moved my car so I was blocking his car, so he couldn’t get out. Unfortunately, he blatantly chose to ignore this, and just went off to pay for his petrol instead. In the meantime, a space was now available for another pump in front of him, so I reluctantly decided to avoid sparking a potential road-rage macho incident in a petrol station (besides which, the guy had that kind of body hair that was just so repulsive, I wouldn’t even want to punch him) and meekly went to fill up.
When Pubic Hair dude came out of the cashiers desk, he just got into his van and drove off. Swine. There he went, totally unpunished for his evil crimes.
All I remember is that he drove a blue van, and it was something to do with Colwyn Bay Electricians. So, dear reader, if you happen to need the services of an electrician in Colwyn Bay, and a man arrives in a small blue van with far too much curly body hair, do me a favour and refuse to give him your good service. And tell him why.
Mind you, because of him, my already bad day was kinda ruined, so when I managed to grab someone else’s parking space in Llandudno later on, I took it. Because if he can be an evil swine and get away with it…